how the kick ass hat photo session actually went:

“i’m free and i successfully destroyed mama’s backdrop. this hat truly is perfect for me!” 

the kick ass hat photo session edition: 

as we come to a close of another year, it’s made me think of what i’ve been thankful for this past year: 

• the given: the lil’ one (big duh). no matter how many nights we have sleepless or stresses from teething, when she looks up at me or gives me a smile or waves or laughs, i melt and it outweighs the hard shit. 

• the second given: the husband. there is no doubt about having a baby challenges your relationship. there are so many ups and downs as we both figure out how to raise our daughter. with the husband home from work for the past two weeks, he mentioned to me that he appreciates me much more because he really didn’t know how hard it is being with her all day and all night. being a stay at home mom who is also trying to work/build her freelancing job is hard. but somehow, i manage to entertain a time consuming lil’ one, clean and feed a house and slowly become the goddess of world domination. 

• family: our families live in the netherlands and los angeles so we don’t have the luxury of bringing the lil’ one down the street to the grandparents for us to have a break. so when we do see them, we appreciate them (and each other) much more.

• the cuddles: as much as i would love not to still nurse her every freakin’ two hours, when she is curled up next to me and i get to breath in her sweet baby scent, i realize that the window that i can do this is very small. i would love to sleep for about a week straight and maybe i can do that when she’s older. but for now, i will hold her tighter. 

• tumblr: i originally joined tumblr back in the days of tumblrarity and hated it. i decided to give it another try last year and am so glad that i did because the community of people are so amazing that i wish many of us lived closer. 

i’m ready for this year to become a memory while i embrace the upcoming year. 

today was a day for the aquarium of the bay in san francisco. the aquarium really isn’t worth paying full price but since we have a zoo membership it was half off. the real attraction of the aquarium is the 300 foot underground tunnel that makes you feel like you are swimming with the fishes. we can’t wait until the lil’ one is older and will appreciate the aquarium more before we take her to the monterey bay aquarium. 

this photo cracks me up:

and i don’t think that the lil’ one is too impressed with me trying to push her into being a banana slug…

Tag, you’re it….

• i spent my summer of ‘96 studying theatre arts and painting at bennington college. i would love to reconnect with some of those kids but when you don’t know anyone’s last name, it’s hard. i had a scholarship to go to college there but winter in vermont didn’t win me over. 

• i accidentally became a vegetarian (i never cared for meat and one day just noticed i hadn’t eaten it in about four months). sometimes i think that i might slowly go back the other way and i get a bit scared and sad about it. we are not raising the lil’ one to be vegetarian unless she wants to make that choice when she’s older. 

• i love horror, halloween, scary houses, etc. but watching movies/shows about ghosts scares the bejeesus out of me. i think that scariest ghost movie is the changeling (not the a. jolie movie). 

• i have weird moments about life. i become super aware of my life and surrounds and then wonder what happens next. what will happen when we pass? what if anything do we become aware of. my mind spins for a few minutes and then i tell myself to stop and savor the life that i have. weird. 

• i taught myself how to type off an old fashion typewriter that my dad had when i was five or six and by the time i took typing in junior high, i rocked that class by typing about eighty words per minute. i love typing and the click of the sounds that our fingers make when it connects to a typewriter or keyboard. 

• i taught myself photography and photoshop (not using the internet or books but by patience and use) and have always had a camera in my hand since i was a wee one. i have spent time in the darkroom but never studied it. my college life is documented in polaroids but wish that i took more pictures. i am very good about purging now though. digital gives too much and it goes into the digital graveyard. so i put together photo books instead. i love blurb. 

• i am horrendous at math and have been caught using my fingers. 

• my first boyfriend is becoming famous due to an old friend who is uber famous. it’s weird but wonderful seeing the success and sometimes i have wondered why i didn’t put more effort into keeping in touch with this set of friends. 

• the way i met the husband was by complete chance. last minute, he decided to drive down to l.a. for halloween weekend to show his friend from the netherlands around. he ended up at the same halloween party and we started talking because someone was dressed as borat walked by. we had a long distance with some rocks kind of relationship for about a year before i moved north. 

• i did not know that i was in labor with the lil’ one until it was almost too late. i had a long early labor (almost 3 weeks) so the stronger contractions didn’t bother me. if there was traffic going to the hospital i would have had the lil’ one in the car. the whole process came so quickly that i think that i was in shock for two days. and truth: i did not kiss the lil’ one for the first two days. i held and nursed her but i couldn’t connect. maybe that’s why i give her lots of kisses now, to make up for this and feeling bad about it. 

and probably eleven: i had trouble putting this together because i had no clue what to write. but i did it. thanks jillian and i probably won’t tag anyone because everyone that i would have tagged seems to have done it already! :)

helped my mom knit the lil’ one a scarf for her nyc trip. my mom taught us how to knit when we were little and i was surprised that when i put the knitting needles in my hands i still remembered how to knit. i think a trip to michael’s might be in order so i can start knitting again. as i said last night… i am turning into mom. 

dear tumblr buddy, 

thank you so much for the wonderful holiday package! i can’t wait to make some hot chocolate in the awesome big mug! the night light is perfect for the guest bathroom since we’ve been talking about getting one and now we don’t need to. not pictured are the sharpies because i already broke them open to use it. oh and the skirt?! it is absolutely perfect and fits wonderfully. we had a christmas onesie for her but no pants so this skirt was just right and makes her christmas outfit special. thank you so much for your wonderful and thoughtful gift! i hope your holiday was also wonderful and special! 

the lil’ one sees a toy…

…the sister, husband and i see something totally different.

this lil’ christmas tree and her family…

…wishes everyone a very merry christmas! 

merry christmas eve…

the lil’ one already adores and looks up to her aunt…

i also sense future trouble with these two…

thinking that today is the day to show you my mad wrapping skills. 

yes…that is the butcher paper from the boxes that amazon delivered wrapped around presents. the pretty ones in actual wrapping paper were wrapped by the husband. in a crappy wrapping competition between lazy dad and electra daddy, i may beat them? :)

only one of those items (the smallest one) is for the lil’ one. the husband and i decided that we didn’t need to get her anything this year because…well…she’s eight months old and has zero concept of what is going on. she’ll be more excited over the paper than what is inside anything so that’s our gift to her this year. used wrapping paper. 

yesterday, the lil’ one became that baby. the one who meticulously ate food off the floor. who stole food off other people’s plates. and actually stole a bite of a donut while a mom was holding it.

she makes me proud.

* i love that she is still rocking the faux-hawk…when is her hair going to come in?! :)

today was for a day at the san jose children’s discovery museum. they have a great upstairs wonder room for kids four and under plus a really interactive water room that is separate from the big kids water room. for a ten dollar entry fee and about a fifteen minute drive away, we will definitely be coming back and playing (especially on those rainy days where we just need to get out).  

happy wednesday!

i hope to give this meaning and understanding to her when she gets older…

the top front teeth are funny looking on the lil’ one.

we took the lil’ one to happy hollows in san jose and although it will probably be more fun for her when she can start climbing/walking/being adventurous on some of the park sections, she still seemed to love it. but i’m sure that it was more about us parents being kids again :-)

“i’m winning!” 

”?!”

“okay guys, i’m eight months old now. i’m getting too old for this shit.”

i’ve been on this weird photo kick of trying to capture the lil’ one’s profile. i don’t know what it is but there is just something about trying to capture this angle. maybe it’s because it’s a side that we tend to not really notice? 

we bought a bundt pan just so we can make a garlic parmesan monkey bread. and we made a really simple roasted red bell pepper soup just so we can dip the bread into it. dinner was so wonderful that we could not even attempt to eat the kahlua espresso chocolate chip ice cream that we made! i am now on board with the monkey bread trend (this was the first time we’ve ever had it). 

these recipes have been pinned onto my pinterest (when i make the recipes on pinterest or have a recipe in my reader that i want to try, i pin it and then i write my own comment into the pin so i can remember what to change in the future. my old fashion recipe folder is collecting dust since pinterest came into my life. it’s a much better recipe folder and it’s a lot prettier).

the evening photo: 

the daytime photo: 

what i used:

not only did i repurpose the broken lens as a cactus pot, but i kept the glass for the times i wanted to do something different and funky by using the glass in a photo. so next time that you have a broken lens, don’t get rid of it…you can find some fun upcycling options with it instead :-)  

thinking outside the lens…

or better yet, through the lens…

the faces of two people who are excited that the husband has the next two weeks off! 

we don’t have too much planned but i think it’s all about exploring our surrounding cities and do things that are normally crowded on the weekends. i know for sure we’re going to the california academy of science on wednesday because it’s a free day and maybe a day at the zoo and maybe the aquarium. oh who knows, he has two weeks off and that means lots of play and bonding time. staycation adventures to come! 

our dining set/office area:

where i tend to find the lil’ one nowadays:

after she has said hi to her buddy under the table (she kisses herself in the mirror and then plays patti cakes with her reflection), she then positions herself under the chair and stands…but then she starts whining because she can’t get herself out. it’s become a daily challenge to get her out of the chairs…silly lil’ one.

these two photos make me giggle (they are from our friend’s wedding back in july and i finally logged on to check them out). the lil’ one was just over four months. 

but this photo: 

it really makes me giggle because i can actually see how much she’s grown in her carrier: 

as a parent, we forget how quickly they actually grow. and then we see these photos where they are all tiny like and get all weepy. 

evening photo walk:

today’s afternoon walk highlights: 

an orange tree….shaped as a dog: 

a flamingo and santa’s butt wishing us a warm holiday: 

and a cute lil’ one on the swings :

i love california weather in december. 

the lil’ one and i had a lunch (and to discuss a future business venture with my friend from high school who is craft extraordinaire: the red dahlia - she will do the party planning/decorations and i do the photography…a huge leap for both of us so fingers crossed) date out in oakland today. 

we met at play cafe which is a cafe with five different themed rooms where babies can crawl, play and interact. the lil’ one loved being able to crawl all over the place (although it was hard since she almost got stepped on a few times by the bigger kids), eat “junk food” of gold fish crackers and play in a ball pit all by herself. it was perfect having the kids play in their own environment while the adults talked business. i wish that there were places like this in my neck of the woods. i might have to head out to oakland more just to play at the play cafe! 

* the bow in the lil’ one’s hair is from the red dahlia. we were trying to see if it’s possible to put clips in a babies head if the baby has no hair. it wasn’t easy but it stayed…for about five minutes. 

gpoy prepping for the sinterklaas party (first time i wore an apron while cooking and now i wonder why i’ve waited so long): 

somehow everything came together for our party on saturday. we left the lil’ one at our friend’s house so we can plow through cooking without having her as a distraction and it was the smartest thing to do. it was more of a dip kind of evening with spinach/artichoke dip, roasted garlic/scallion dip, jalapeno popper dip, baked pizza dip, and chocolate fondue. i am a bit sad that i didn’t take any pictures of the spread because everything was delicious. i put the links for the jalapeno dip and baked pizza dip because you need to make those dips. 

we were exhausted by the end of it and spent sunday doing absolutely nothing. it was the first time in three weeks that the husband and i had a quiet family day since the last of our house guests left to go back to the netherlands. it was a day of cleaning, eating, walking and swings at the park. we didn’t realize how much we missed just hanging out with each other as a family.

family portrait…

definitely not the best picture but the in-laws wanted one before they left…

and yes…i am all about the fake tree…easy, no mess, already has the lights built into it and best of all, doesn’t flare up the allergies.

i learned a lesson today…

if the lil’ one is quiet and staring out a window, it means she is causing trouble. like licking the power cord to my macbook. which apparently doesn’t work after it has been licked. i thought it was connected to the computer…but the awesome quick disconnect feature is not so awesome once there is a lil’ one involved.

so is the only time i trust her is when she’s sleeping?

the husband always makes fun of me when i eat a banana since i open it from the bottom and eat from that end. my defense is perfectly logical to me:

- it’s easier to open on that end, therefore you do not bruise the banana which i absolutely detest. try it sometime, much easier to open. 

- you have a handle so you have better control holding your banana when doing things and when you get to the bottom (or top) of the banana.

makes sense, right?!

it’s been one of those weeks. a lil’ one who has gone through teething and a cold which has meant sleepless nights. a cold that has been passed on to myself and the husband. the in laws that have been in town (love them but when you’re over tired and sick, you just want quiet) so i have been a bit stressed. we are hosting our annual dutch sinterklaas party on saturday and i haven’t even started the meal planning so my stress levels are increasing. i thought that having a massage yesterday (to use my burke williams gift card and take advantage of babysitters) would help but instead, it just flared up the sick. so last night, i had a fretful night of sleep and just figured today was going to also be a bit crummy. but i woke up to this:

two photos that i took won a modeling agency’s 2012 calendar (the mother submitted them, not me)

the month of august:

and the freakin’ cover (it’s a dual cover but still)!: 

this made my morning. 

since thanksgiving, the lil’ one has grown way too quickly for my liking. in about two weeks, she now: waves (when meeting people and on command), claps when happy, has two new teeth (the top two and they are kinda funny looking), says mu-ma when she wants up or is upset, says baba when looking for papa (i think…it’s either that or ball?) and just yesterday, the husband and i sneaked into her room and watched her climb herself up in the crib so she can gnaw on the railing. i know that they grow quickly but sheesh, i can only process so much before my heart ‘plodes.

holiday train of lights!

we took the sunset train ride from sunol and niles and it was absolutely incredible. we loved being able to watch the sun set in the canyons while we rode through bridges and over rivers. as it became darker, it was magical as we watched the trains come to life with each train being decorated uniquely while each train car itself was a uniquely styled, old fashion car. the night was cool but we warmed up with our nibbles and wine. 

we went last year and after this year…i believe that this will be our new holiday tradition. i think that the sunset train trip is definitely the way to go.

saturday was the first time that we took advantage of having family in town. the in laws were more than happy to watch the lil’ one while the husband and i got to be goofy adults at the dickens fair in san francisco. there was no way i was dressing up but as you could see, the husband got into the spirit. since there was no lil’ one to take care of (actually, this really isn’t a 3 or younger kind of environment, it was super crowded and claustrophobic), i ended up drinking a bit more than i am used to…which lead to the photos that i thought were clear at the time, end up coming out a bit more blurry than i wanted. by the end of the night, i was missing the lil’ one (and honestly, so were my boobies…ouch) that there were many extra hugs and kisses. but the look that she gave me when we came home? the feeling was definitely mutual.